Jun 17, 2013

Military Club




rolled into Lafayette, N.C. at dusk
name on my black car's plates
best friend was in the air force
had married a cool air force man
fourth of july, summer of 1999
this was my first trip down to party
one thing on her agenda, hit the mall
bought an outfit that hugged my curves
had heard about the club they went to
almost every weekend they could
met his best friend, before we went in
could hear the music in the parking lot
guys went to the bar with our orders
the club packed full of military men
she held my hand to lead me through
they parted so we could climb stairs
winding up to a dance floor above
mirrors surrounded every side of us
bass moving us along on the floor
dancing from 8 p.m. until closing
as we left i was laughing and buzzed
been to a lot of bars and nightclubs
i have to agree this one was the best
wish i could remember what it was called
drove back to Virginia, best memories
song plays from that night, i go back in time

@ donetta sifford 6-17-2013

http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2013/06/trifecta-week-eighty-two.html

7 comments:

  1. ah, I like how the song brings you back in time! also, I think the stream of consciousness approach is fun.

    nice take on the prompt!

    best,
    MOV

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  2. I really like this. I like the fast pace, and I love when you hear a song and it takes you back to a specific moment too. Fun take on the prompt! Kate (Trifecta Guest Judge)

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  3. Yeah, love the choppy stream of consciousness. It puts the reader in those frenetic moments. Very nice writing!

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  4. Smell might be the closest sense tied to memory, but hearing songs can send you back too. Great piece!

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  5. I like this very much. Name on a license plate says a lot... I think self assured and comfortable with life, not conceited in her case, as the story unfolds. I think we all have that one song.

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  6. Somewhere between poetry, prose and song lyric. Very cool.

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  7. This has an awesome "On The Road" Kerouac vibe. I want more. The details are all cool. I like your choices, here. More please.

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