Oct 16, 2014

Lucy Day

Day 16 of OctPoWriMo 2014 

Once upon a time, a girl named Lucy Day
went to the store for candy,
then she lost her way.
Her feet grew weary walking,
tears filled her eyes.
She came upon a bridge
above blue waters and ice.
A frozen castle glistened
and on the rocks below,
she saw beautiful mermaids
and ask them where to go.
They started singing a song
about hearts being at home.
With the flip of their lovely fins
she blinked and they were gone.
Puzzled, she stood there humming
the words to the melody they sang.
Then suddenly her heart was pounding
because she remembered the way.
Rushing home to tell her mom and dad
about the glorious beings she saw.
Both parents smiled at Lucy,
and they believed her after all.

donetta sifford 10-16-2014

Written for: OctPoWriMo 2014

I decided to play around with this and make it as much like a fairy tale in poetry style as possible.   I normally use free verse and so I'm not excellent on rhyming.  Any advice is welcomed. Thank you all. 

10 comments:

  1. That was fun, and I liked the happy ending. Mermaids aren't always nice, and I feared they'd entice her to her death with their siren song!
    http://poetryofthenetherworld.blogspot.com/2014/10/octpowrimo-2014-day-16.html

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    1. Thank you. I thought about that, then decided I'd go a happy route.

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  2. You did a great job by doing so Donetta :) I too tried to play with words on this prompt :)

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    1. Thank you. I will be sure to come check yours out.

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  3. I love your use of rhythm and rhyme to tell the story.

    If you're stuck for rhymes, there are two very useful sites: Rhymezone which gives rhymes sorted by number of syllables, and B Rhymes, which gives you less obvious rhymes. I keep them open when I'm writing in rhyme, plus the thesaurus to find synonyms.

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    1. That is wonderful advice. Thank you. I do get stuck on the easy, obvious rhymes, that's why I don't write it often. These sites sound very helpful!

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  4. This was a fun poem/fairytale. There was one line in it, though, that was powerful, emotional. Thank you!

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  5. A nice fairy tale. I liked the rhythm..:)

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    1. Thank you. I struggled with the ending. lol

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Comments and feedback are very much appreciated....