Monday, March 11, 2013

Gloria's Reminder

Alone in my home with no laughter
Where laughter had once colored each wall.
Watching my three year old daughter play.
My stomach stretched, her sister inside moving.
Their father had walked out on us.
Leaving me no license, food, money, or job.
All he left behind was confusion, sadness, anger.
Surrounded by a desperation of not knowing.
My family had long since passed away.
No friends seem in sight when the future is black.

One person can help another with a gesture so simple.
Never knowing how they helped save my life.
My best friend stationed in Dover, DE. called me.
She called every night as her husband left for work.
Her gorgeous daughter was a bit over one years old.
I know she had problems of her own to deal with.
The same time every night though my phone rang.
Her glorious voice on the other end just to talk to me.
Listen to what was going wrong, how frightened I was.
Something not easy for me to admit to anyone.
No advice, never critical, not telling me to move on.

Unexpectedly, a package mailed from her to me.
A box of maternity clothes, I had none, not planning this.
Then a kind gesture from her and her husband.
Go to the closest Western Union and pick it up.
The calls kept coming, long after my youngest was born.
Her clothes got sent back because another she longed for.
Told to never try and repay them, it was a gift to my unborn.
Here she was trying to adjust her family and life.
Wanting so badly to have another baby to add to their home.
Yet she called every night to hear me cry of how I was unhappy.
How I didn't want two children, especially with their father gone.
Everything was changing in my life and I hated it.
My phone ringing at 10 p.m. was the only constant in my life.

My youngest is now seven years old with her older sister of ten.
Their father and I can get along and all my bitterness, faded.
It occurred to me recently to tell her, in case I had forgotten to.
How much her phone calls kept me going when I felt despair.
Let her know that I often thought of giving up, just not going on.
I wanted her to know I considered letting her adopt my baby.
Needed her to know how she reminded me of my strength within.
My strength within, even though I had forgotten and felt weak.
Always in my heart and soul, her unconditional love for me
is what got me to where I am today, the kinda of mother I am.
I hope I never have to repay this favor, this act of kindness back.
For that would mean her life is in turmoil and her world torn.
If I could somehow protect her from ever feeling how I did then
Gladly I would take in every ounce of pain to save her from it.

Mostly, when I feel the weight on my shoulders and I forget
how strong I am, I recall those winter months of 2005.
I recall how she reminded me and guided me until I was alright.
It's amazing how someone can be in our lives and something
that seems as simple to them as being a friend, can take on 
a whole other meaning for the person they are being a friend to.
Though I always knew her heart was made of pure gold and
I had always loved her before, words cannot ever explain
what she pulled me through with her light in my darkest days.

@ donetta sifford 3-11-2013

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